last minute

I have 15 minutes to write this blog.. I just had my last minute pedicure during my break for tomorrow's event.  Tomorrow is quite a big day for us here at work.  I really hate this feeling of rush, nervous, anxiety and stress all over me.  It's like anticipating so much the expected.  Then I have so much more at hand.  Reports that are already due,  Al Gore tickets to be distributed,  my travel schedule and expiring passport,  my Filipiniana and skirt not fitting well, my new shoes that hurts a bit,  infant milk that's not available in the supermarket, the Chinese brush my daughter needs,  my husband's atm not dispensing our cash!  All of these are so much for today to take.

I hope we'll survive tomorrow's event without sweat.  I wish everybody luck.  That we'll be able to satisfy her and that God forbids she'll take notice of everything wrong.  I had migraines yesterday and I think I'm beginning to have one right now with all these stress. =s  Though I have seen some who just take this lightly.. unprepared and unguarded.  I hope he survives tomorrow.

Hope I could still smile tomorrow.  We will do just fine.  Believe.  Yes, I'm a last minute believer that we will be okay tomorrow.  Ciao!

sunburn

I love beaches... from a far.  I have to say from a far because I hate the sun.  I would often like to see long stretch of white sand and sequence of waves crashing thru it but I hate being under the sun.  Weird feeling of love-hate with the sun actually. 

I love it because it gives us the necessary vitamins for our skin but somehow hate it because no matter how much sunblock I applied (hourly, after 80 minutes for a SPF50) I'd still get sun burnt.  That's where my hate feeling for the sun comes out.  I have these tan lines which hurts. I even applied those after sun lotion but to no avail.  I guess I shouldn't have stayed long under the sun.

 

I have recently visit the Marine Base in Ternate Cavite last weekend.  I have joined my in-laws for picnic and have some barbecues.  Since it's summertime here, a lot of people would come to the beach and enjoy the sun.  My daughter has been making sand castles along the shoreline.  I've asked her to come with me for a dip but she's was quite unhappy and afraid of the waves hitting us.  She cries tirelessly when I tried to make her swim with me.  So I guess,  I just don't want her to have phobia with beaches so I retired from convincing her to swim. 

My hubbytat on the other hand enjoys being under the sun and swimming against the waves.  He loves the feel of the sand under his feet.  He swims well that's why he has no problem with the waves.  Though I would often wish he would not have gone far out.  Told him to leave the jelly fish and baby sharks alone. =)  He likes to go to beaches and has been to some of the good beaches around here. 

Yes, I enjoy and love beaches from a far.  I like the fine sand between my toes and the sound of crashing waves.  I would have loved walking along the beach or maybe just do some reading while sipping some nice cold iced tea.  I would have enjoyed it more if the sun would be a little nicer to my skin and my sunblock have worked well. =) 

too much caffeine

I think I had too much caffeine yesterday.  I'm not much of a coffee drinker and my tolerance to caffeine is very low.  Though I really enjoy those sweet cold frappucinos or those plain cold coffees.  The problem with too much caffeine, I'm starting to get really sleepy.  The effect is not to perk me up but to snooze me down.  I don't have the faintest idea why coffee has that effect on me.  Pretty interesting for a mad science experiment. =)

Since I had too much caffeine yesterday, I though I would be having problems sleeping but then I slept earlier that anybody in the house!  I was also afraid of headaches or just being dizzy.  I was expecting some palpitation here and there.  But I guess, I've been too afraid of so many things that don't really happened and will not even happen.

Sometimes we are guilty of thinking ahead of time that we actually left nothing for ourselves to discover new experiences.  We anticipate so much but the effect is so little.  We expect too much and yet we get nothing at all.  I guess that's how we protect ourselves from any harm. 

However, we end up worrying about things that will not happen and the thing that we just co-relate to ourselves because it happened to somebody.  It would be best to stop worrying, to put an end to our stress of.. well.. worrying.  This worry-some feelings could result to our problems.

I had stopped thinking I had too much caffeine because these would only cause me to believe that I'm down to having insomnia, palpitations and dizziness,  which I didn't actually have in the first place.  Maybe, I really didn't had too much caffeine in my body just as I thought I have.  Maybe... just maybe, I'm actually tolerant to it just as I want to be tolerant to everything that cause me stress. =)

my hubbytat's green thumb

My hubbytat loves his garden so much. He would make sure all are watered just right and all plants were cleared of dry leaves.  He would spend hours and hours tendering his little paradise.  While I amaze on how his green thumb works even with broken and leafless branch.  My brother took some time capturing my hubbytat's garden on one mother's day afternoon.

Drift woods were put to use by housing a number of plants.

He's been dying to have his little fountain.  Got this around Silang Cavite.

No picking of flowers please. =)

It's nice to have these fern-like plants sprouting beneath the driftwood.

Thorny plants means "off limits".  Though it blooms nicely with pink flowers.

These were planted near the fence. Ate would pick one to give her mama.

This is special drift wood used to hold our water hose around. Can be seated in after watering the plants.

Outside our door amidst of his precious garden hangs a wind chime.  He would often tell me to get a bigger one.  He told me that this chime would move with the wind and as it create noise around his garden signaling that good fortune and good luck shall come.

the gardener

picture taken by nicolai 05/06/10

He who shall pass this garden shall pass before me.

To nurture this soil, to give life to greens.

I plant, I guarded, I reap

crawling like silkworm

Jacob has started crawling around my mom's bed.  He would crawl around like a silk worm and I would often find him struggling to pull up his head to smile at his audience.  At times he would kick his little feet to show excitement and joy.  Raise his arm for a hug and smile.  He would look around to find your voice and follow your scent in the bed you've been sleeping in at night.  He would snuggle close to you as if you're all he need to breathe.  Savoring your scent and touch. 

At morning he would wake me up with his tiny shrieking voice making sounds, trying to talk to me as if saying "things will be better today mama".  Just merely looking at his almond eyes, I know things are going to be better today even if I lack sleep or even if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I would hug him.. snuggle him close to me.. my baby.

the bind that's loosely tied

Relative was defined by Merriam-Webster as a "a thing having a relation to or connection with or necessary dependence on another thing." It was also defined as "a person connected with another by blood or affinity".

I suppose I have a very close knit family ties with my relatives.  On occasion, we would visit each other to celebrate birthdays and christmas.  We would often go to our aunts and uncles for advice.  Enjoy coffees with cousins and share childhood memories.  Exchange some messages on special days.

Sometimes, we also go to our relatives to borrow stuffs, things or money.  Ask some favor and returned some.  We go to them for comfort, for assurance, for trust that in this life we are not alone.  That we have relatives and family to confide with and to draw support from, most especially in our toughest situations.  We prefer them over close friends because we trust that they know us better than those outside our closely binded circle.  That we are relative to one another and that we are connected with another by blood or affinity.  This connection is the bind that should be strong enough to withstand misunderstanding, mistrust and complications that would arise to destroy your relationships as relatives.

Most often than not, issues with relatives and families are harder to manage and to resolve.  Because the cut is deeper than the hurt your friends would have inflicted on you.  Because it's harder to let go of the things that binds us together even if it's loosely tied.

I have relatives who at some point in time have hurt us because of mistrust and misjudgement.  Things that I normally don't understand why.  For small and petty things.  For money or affirmation.  For some words that should have been left unsaid.  For the things we did not care to do.  For the favors we did not return.  For the graditude that we are too selfish to share.

I would like to feel lucky to have family.  To have relatives.  For us to share our burdens, our frustrations as well as our joys and successes.  To be supported and to be in support to.  Not to be in competition with but to triumph as one.  Not to be misjudged but to be trusted.  Not to inflict hurt but to share happiness.  It's not just responsibilities and obligations but I guess there are far more important thing of what families are for.

I know in time this bind that's loosely tied will be strongly connected again.  That I completely trust God to work in us.  I'm continuously waiting for that day that all binds we have are closely tied again.